yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
