Fuck appropriateness.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
