Betty ford says i'm here all night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
