oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize