Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
