I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
