Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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