brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
