sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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