Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
