Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
