So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
