Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
