Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
