I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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