I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you inspire me to be a worse person
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
