guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
