i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
