New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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