Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Come share oat with me in your robe
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
