But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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