Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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