Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
