I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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