when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
