when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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