god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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