I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize