that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
