there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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