how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
