11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
