R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
