she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize