So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
