oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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