I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
