I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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