He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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