I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
