I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
