Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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