For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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