Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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