Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
