NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
