Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have surprise drugs for everyone
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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