Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
