you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
