i wish my penis had a tongue
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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