Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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