So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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