I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
