we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
