I cannot find my penis.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Houston, we have a blender
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
