she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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