Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
