how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
