I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize