at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
