Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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