Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
where does the pee come out of this thing
im holly from the hills drunk
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm too high and old for this...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
