think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Randomize
